Tuesday was a running sort of day and I Rx’d. I don’t think this is the first wod I’ve Rx’d but it’s the first one I’ve been aware of. I remember doing the baseline fitness wod back in June and I must have Rx’d that, but in my first month of Crossfit such terms had no meaning for me – my only desire was to get through each session with this picture in mind. The day we did the beach wod, in particular, I remember jogging down to the beach reciting in my head ‘finish this workout, do not die!’ as if I really thought it was a possibility!
I learned something about myself today that shocked me. I was lifting with three other women and failed at the third of the 6×3 presses. ‘I’m out’ I said, standing back and preparing to just change weights for the others as they lifted. But Oni pointed out that I didn’t have to drop out, I could go back down through the weights and work on my technique. ‘You encourage others,’ she said, ‘don’t be so hard on yourself.’
Was I being hard on myself? I didn’t think so. It made me cringe to ask the others to lower the weights so I could lift the same amount over and over again. I felt I shouldn’t have been there. Coach David told me to carry on and perfect my lift at the weight I could manage. I still felt I shouldn’t be doing it. I felt I was holding others back and breaking the upward progression they were achieving. I really struggled to do it.
I remember my father as a really determined athlete – he never failed at anything he tried … I have a little brother who is a natural runner, kicker, lifter, catcher … I remember being at school and actually having a PE teacher who told people they didn’t have to pick me for a team because I could help her keep the score instead. The message I picked up from all this was that not only was a bad at physical exercise (and I was, I was atrocious at it!) but I shouldn’t get involved with ‘real’ athletes as I would only be in their way. I’ve got to be honest, sticking with it today was really tough for me but maybe it will get easier and I won’t feel like such a fraud.
So, we ran a mile – I was not quite last. It was a cold mile, starting in the almost dark and running towards the rising sun, pretty spiritual and all that if your teeth aren’t chattering (mine were) but I had gloves and a positive attitude and that was enough to get me round. Donna was ahead of me and I’d hoped to maintain a steady distance behind her, which I think I did. Time for the mile – 9:25. Back into the box for 150 squats, and at some point in the process I remember hearing coach David say ‘nice depth, Kay’ which was encouraging, after all the months of being told to keep my head up and my heels down.
The second mile was easier. I’m not the fastest runner but I am phenomenally consistent, my miles tend to be run at the same pace from the beginning of a 6 mile run to the end, so I knew I would be able to keep to a reasonable pace, especially now I was warmed up. Donna was ahead of me again, and this time I started to reel her in a little, not much, she was still waaaay in the distance but I know that on the final long straight run into the box I was closer to her than I had been as we set out, and also closer than when we ran the first mile. Overall my time was 23:46 and although I was the last to finish the wod in my group, I absolutely did Rx and I wasn’t the slowest to do the wod on the day. OH says I am starting to creep up from always last – I’m not totally convinced of that, it might just be a blip, but I’ll take the blip and be happy with it!
Bruises: one, from box jumps at home
PB: a pathetic 23 kilos on my strict press (it was meant to be x3 but I only got x2)
Wishlist: the pull-up – I’m down to just the purple band now!